I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
