Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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