Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
