Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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