Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
bring money and cleavage
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
