He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
