its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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