I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can you repeat that, but with context?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
