batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
