He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
