I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
