she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
