I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
