I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
