Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
