I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize