I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
