happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
