I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
