if you like me you must not know who I am
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
