yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
