this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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