Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
