Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize