I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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