just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
