the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
