do herpes really smell.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
