That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
