so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
