also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
