Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
