so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
