he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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