It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
