You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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