Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sorry about my life...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
