new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
