Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
