i used baking grease as lip gloss
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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