I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
