You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
