I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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