Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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