another moral hangover. fuck.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
