so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
