I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
