True but thats because hes a fetus.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
