Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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