White coat. Heels.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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