after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize