It's like God shit irony all over that family
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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