I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
