tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
