Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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