Christians are straight up FREAKS
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize