I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
