I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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