I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
