I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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