I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
