is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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