Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
