shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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